Day 18: The BegENDing

Today is the last day of Week Two Sacred Circularities Hoop Dance & Movement Meditation Retreat. Week Three begins tomorrow. I can feel the energy cultivating for me and the others who have been here since Week One. After SC is complete I am performing two different nights at Bali Spirit Fest. Dreams really do come true! These are dreams I have been curating since 2012 when I was in Australia. Bali felt so close yet so far away. It’s beautiful and challenging all at once, because the one person I wish could experience this with me is thousands of miles away at his new house with his beautiful children in Austin, TX. It feels amazing to be living out my most personally rewarding achievements, and at the same time I feel like theres a bit missing, and it’s my Beloved. I so wish he could be here, being my DJ, my right hand man, my best friend. I grew up an only child, so it’s easy for me to be on my own on big trips like this, however, after we went to Peru together I realize how much I love traveling with the one I love most. We look after each other and lift each other up. Le Sigh. He is as supportive as he can be considering he is in Texas with his three children, doing the “Dad of the Year” thing. We love each other very much and are trusting that this distance for two months will only make us stronger. In the meantime....I do my makeup for the Instructor Photo shoot. Glitter...check. Feathers....check. White Light Attire....check. 

Camera Ready! 

After we took a few group photos and individual shots it was time for African Dance. I observed African Dance instead of fully participating this time to let my ankle that I twisted fully heal. It was so much fun to watch all of my sisters shake, sweat, laugh and cry and heal with dance. Malaika is such a beautiful facilitator of shamanic movement and female empowerment. I have mentioned it in previous blogs but I am so happy and honored to have studied with Malaika. Her mentorship and movement inspire many.

After breakfast was the Closing Circle. There were tears of joy and gratitude all around. This event changes peoples lives. Bali changes peoples lives. Bali plus Sacred Circularities alters the way people perceive the world around them forever, so naturally the Closing Circle is a sobering moment for some as they realize they now must return to ‘real life’. There was one extra special moment where a little girl who had been present for the week, named Shanti, was passed the microphone to share her experience and she said her name (she is three years old) and then in the cutest little voice she sang ‘Let It Go’ in Spanish (she is also Peruvian). Then I cried because it is really special to hear a little girl sing her sweet song without abandon. No self doubts. Only self expression! It was a heart melting moment for us all, hearing her angelic voice remind us of why we are all hear....to express our inner child FULLY. This Closing Circle was special because it was all women. There is something to be felt when dozens of women gather together to celebrate being in their bodies, their communities and their creativity. I love this hoop community like family, and that will never change.

The latter part of the afternoon consisted of an Instructor Meeting and a few private sessions of Human Design Readings. Serving and sharing with my community will always be at the forefront of my passion and purpose. I am learning how to balance my family of heart and hoop, my travel, my writing and my personal practice of dance training. This will be my focus upon return to my real life. I say ‘real life’ with gratitude because this actually IS my Real Life! From Hoop Gatherings to Festivals to exotic lands...it’s been my real life. After this trip and my month on Maui for Omni Love’s birth, I will be stepping into a reality that is less travel and more focus on work and family, so I am really soaking up the epicness of this exotic adventure. I am grateful to be able to create my life exactly as I choose, and I love every aspect of it. If you are interested in creating a life you love, and wanting to talk with me about how to begin that journey, click here and tell me about it. I’ll listen, and we can talk! Thank you, as always, for coming with me on this unique experience. I look forward to the 21 days ahead. 

Staying Present,

Shellie White Light

Day 13: Mother, Water, Life

As I type these words I am a complete puddle; juicy with thanks, saturated with love, and overflowing with awe at the Creation around me. Today was a day filled to the brim with traditional cultural worship, humble learning, activation and contemplation. Thank you for reading and coming with me on this one. May you feel how blessed I feel through these words. 

I awoke early and feeling a bit sore and sleepy from such a full on day yesterday, but was able to work through that due to the excitement of giving a bodywork session first thing and then heading out on my excursion to the temples. The massage went great, and I felt really connected to what her body was saying, and was thankful that she was in such a sweet space to receive it. I love giving bodywork, even at 7AM! We have to fit each other in where we can during these retreats. My people need me, and I am happy to work it in so that everyone wins. And winning, we are!

After that I was picked up by the small group I would be touring around with for the day. Wayan was our driver, and Rhaiti, a Balinese Princess our guide. As we were driving to Basahki, The Mother Temple, we were noticing all of the Ogoh-Ogoh creations everywhere. These Ogoh-Ogoh’s are huge flammable statues made in the image of demons, monsters and evil spirits. They represent lust, greed, and all of the “sins” that humans confront within themselves. The idea is that Friday night, the day before Nyepi, they parade around these Ogoh-Ogoh’s and bang pots and pans and hoot and holler and call attention to all of the demons and spirits, attracting them into the Ogoh-Ogoh’s. The spirits come into these creations because they look like each other. Likenesses. Helps the little demon feel right at home. Once all of this has taken place, they then burn the Ogoh-Ogoh’s in an effigy. Then all goes silent. Nyepi begins. Seeing all of these structures on our way to the temples was fascinating. Each small district raises money and builds one. I am looking forward to seeing how this all plays out.....

The Mother Temple, Besakih, is the Central Temple of Bali. It is considered the most holy, and sits terraced on Mount Agung. Tradition claims that all souls comes from the Mother, and to the Mother Temple they shall return. I wore traditional Balinese dress of a long sleeved cabala, a sarong, and a sash. We entered the temple, and began to make the long descent up the stairs. On the right side the gargoyles were smiling, on the left side the had faces of anguish, the stairway up led right through the center of these stone creatures. Rhaiti said it’s because you have to focus your mind, our minds are always in the middle of happiness and anguish and we have to stay focused on what we are thinking about. Just at that time I saw some little children making offerings to a baby goat. The little children were all laughing and smiling, making the offerings to the goat as a man was tying the goats feet together. Rhaiti looked at us and explained that this was a sacrifice to purify the land. Sacrifice? I asked her if they were going to kill that little goat. Yes, she said. “Like, right now?” I asked. “Yes”, she said again. I decided to go on the other side of the wall to look at some messy offerings on the ground. She said the offerings were purposefully offered messily because ‘that is life’. I heard the goat bleating. No pun intended. It made a few noises that sounded sad to me, and I said a prayer for it’s soul. Being raised Christian and reading about how Jesus encouraged the Jewish people not to sacrifice the paschal lamb anymore created a belief in me that there is no need to sacrifice animals to Spirit. I have no judgement around this little goats life being offered, but it was still hard to witness. 

So up we went. Each level of the Mother Temple represents a chakra. We prayed at the first level. I really appreciate this method of prayer. We had little bowls of flowers in front of us and some incense. The Princess said ‘the incense is the witness, the flower are the beauty’. We lit the incense and before each prayer (there were five) we purified our hands in the incense smoke. With each prayer, except the last one, we held a flower in our hand. When done with the prayers we put the flowers in our hair and behind our ears. The first prayer was for ourselves, one prayer was to the sun god, one prayer to the Creator of All The Universe and I can’t remember what the other two prayers were. For me, each prayer was full of gratitude. After four prayers, the priest came around and slung a bit of water on our head, and then gave us water in our right hands to sip three times, then the fourth handful of water was to cleanse our crowns. Finally, rice is placed on your third eye. Then the fifth prayer. We were kneeling all the while. Your feet are never meant to point towards the temple. We didn’t pray at every level, just the first one. We walked around while Rhaiti explained how the Balinese people pray, and how they are different and similar with the blend of religions (Muslims, Hindu, Christian, etc). It was all very fascinating, and I am honored to have bared witness.

Next we had lunch in the company of a view of the volcano. Rhaiti explained to us that the Balinese believe that three dragons keep the Balinese islands together. Praying to the dragons keeps the volcanos from erupting or earthquakes from shaking the islands apart. It was amazing to see the pathway of the lava flow from the top of the mountain to the village. The black sands leading down the mountain were like scar. A stark reminder against the green jungle that this island is ever changing, and even with all of the prayers to the three dragons, there is still a chance that lava could lap up this lushness in the blink of an eye...

Finally we arrived at the Water Temple. Tampak Siring. We went into the temple portion and were led through the same Five Prayer Practice that we learned in the Mother Temple. The Mother Temple is where the Balinese go to retrieve the souls of those who have passed, and the Water Temple is where they go to Purify and Cleanse their own soul while it’s still in their body. The water comes from a Holy Spring that bubbles up out of the ground and flows into the stone fountains and pools for praying. The spring fed pool was beautiful. Fish and eels freely swimming. Freshwater coral and plants swaying softly. When we went into the Fountains, Rhaiti explained what each one was about and what I  was meant to do. At each fountain we washed our mouths out three times to purify the words we speak, and cleanse our mouths from anything harmful or hurtful we have ever said. Then we wash our face three time, to purify any harmful actions or movements we have ever done. Then you bathe head under the fountains to purify your mind. There was a fountain for each chakra, the two for funerals which we skipped over, one for cleansing bad dreams, one for forgiveness of the father and one for forgiveness of the mother, and then finally one fountain that you actually drank the water three times instead of spitting it out, and that fountain represented being blessed by 99 Priests. There were some other fountains that you could collect water from to bless your home, new job, family, new car, etc. I just stood in front of them and prayed instead of putting my body in them since I didn’t have a little jar for collecting water. Then we got out and dried off and went home. Just like that. I had some profound sensations while in that Holy Water. My prayers were deep, saturating me to the core. I trust Great Spirit heard, felt and saw my intention. I am feeling very grateful that I was able to participate this way, especially in the days leading up to Nyepi.

I got back to Ananda in time to receive another massage, and take a very hot bath. After that I wrote this blog, feeling like a puddle of a watery woman. The water is a theme here. My dreams have all had the reoccurring symbols of tidal waves or rain. The last dream I had about tidal waves I actually leaped into the wave. I feel that this is poignant, as I have taken the leap to live based solely on my creative pool of resources. We are water beings, and being blessed by the water today resonated deeply with my soul and spirit. Tomorrow I teach again, Twinning and Spinning. Then the Ogoh-Ogoh parade, and then the Silence Begins. Until then...may the water within you vibrate at it’s purest cellular structure possible. Aho!

As One,

Shellie White Light 

Day 12: Activating the Light Body

I teach my first workshop of the week today! Eeek! Nerves of excitement and happiness are tingling all over. My first stop on the way to breakfast was the lotus pond. There are at least five in full bloom. These lotuses have been a major theme of inspiration for me. My dreams are literally unfolding before me. To be teaching hoopers in BALI how to spin, breath, love themselves and grasp the concepts of creation that move me to the core is the most amazing gift, privilege and blessing Spirit could bestow upon me. I just keep giving thanks, staying present in each beautiful millisecond, and exuding joyful prayers of praise with each fleeting moment. The days are moving quickly, and I know that soon this will be just another reflection in the lotus pond of life. A petal on the surface. This waking dream will wither into memory, making room for a different dream, a new blossom. Life is constant with changes, and new beginnings. As I prepare for my workshop, other classes, and private breath work sessions today, I am also preparing to go to Tempak Siring Water Temple and ‘The Mother Temple’ tomorrow. This is an excursion that I am taking on my own, outside of the group, as I couldn’t go last week due to my moon cycle. I can feel the energies culminating before Nyepi, and I am feeling very blessed to be able to take my trip to the Water Temple now so I can put in my prayers before this very special and sacred day.

After Orientation, Instructor Demos, and breakfast, workshops began.

The first two workshops of the day were so awesome! Gail taught us all kinds of amazing tricks that kept us on our toes. “If it was easy, you wouldn’t come to Bali to learn it!”, she lovingly exclaimed when we were all like “It’s haaaaard!” I have to giggle as I type this because I love Gail so much and her style of hooping just melts my mind into a puddle. I learned a lot in Gail’s first class, and remembered that even if I don’t get a trick right away, I have plenty of time to learn and integrate! I’m looking forward to studying more with Gail this week. She’s simply incredible. On her feet she has tattooed “Practice More”. Damn straight. I’ll be taking that advice, thanks Gail :)

Tammy FireFly was up next with Aerial Silks Flexibility and Conditioning. We stretched out really well, and worked on some basic gymnastic rolls, cartwheels and other fun things before actually climbing the fabrics. Aerial dance is such a commitment! Tammy is another one that melts my mind in a totally different way; when I see her do her thing in the air I am just in awe, and VERY inspired to work on an aerial art, like Lyra. One great thing about Kellen getting a house in Austin, TX is that I will have regular access to all kinds of aerial training studios and I totally plan on taking advantage of that fact. Thanks for the major inspiration Tammy!

Lunch was very productive. Not only did I have the chocolate ball for desert (first, ha!) but I also happened to book up my entire schedule for Week Two! People are so stoked on the private breath and human design. I have one woman who has booked all four of my services: massage, breath, hoop and Human Design reading. Wow! 

Perfect client alert! :) I love it when my gifts are recognized, and being used to really help someone help themselves.

After lunch it was my time to shine. I was so grateful to sit in a circle with so many brilliant faces, talking about sustained spinning as a path to ascension, Rumi, the sacred shapes that make up our light bodies, and how to spin our prayers. I took the ladies on a journey through the foundations of breath, gaze and foot placement, setting them up for a successful spin session. We created beautiful shapes with the hoop, spinning around each other like planets, interacting with the divine guide residing within each of us. Focusing on breath and with a non-focused gaze, we whirled like dervishes, devoted to the One True Source that brought us all to this special place in time and space. I love teaching sustained spinning! It truly brings absolute joy into my humble little heart :) I had quite a few folks come tell me how much they appreciated my workshop, and that means a lot to me! I feel so vulnerable when I teach, so to hear positive feedback is always inspiring. I love you all, and want to give the best of me!

Afterwards Tiana rocked it out, as always, with her workshop Contact Connections. I really appreciate being able to dive into Tiana’s extremely insightful and kinesthetically intelligent mind/body. Her quotable quote of the day “Embrace the awkward. The awkward is where beauty lives and awesomeness resides”. Or...something like that ;)

Thanks for taking us into your inner workings, Tiana. I look forward to continuing this spiral path of learning and teaching with you at international hoop retreats! It rocks! 

Next I embraced another role that I enjoy very much. Breath Work facilitation. I had a very powerful session with a participant that booked a private session with me. She had a super potent full circle moment of clarity, and I could tell a whole world of healing took place! It is always such an honor to hold space for someone and be their cheerleader while they do their own shamanic healing, using the breath and heart beat as guide. It’s an honor to witness such profound transformation. I feel that breath by breath, we are changing our selves and changing the world in turn.

The final experience of the day was Malaika’s 5 Elements Dance Activation. YES! I became certified in this modality of teaching last October just after the Sacred Circularities Sedona Retreat. It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. Malaika has beautifully combined the sacred aspects of dance, prayer, ritual, healing, and the four directions and elements of the medicine wheel into a powerful practice that changes lives. I am honored to have studied with her and ready to begin facilitating more 5 Elements Dance Activations when I return to Maui and Austin...and beyond! 

Tomorrow I take a day away from the group to venture to The Mother Temple of Bali, where all souls return according to Balinese religion, and also to the Water Temple of Tempek Siring, where the Balinese go to purify. As the days lead up to Nyepi, I am feeling more called to participate in ceremony in traditional Balinese fashions. The energy is building, the processions and ceremonies are starting and the locals are preparing. There is magic in the air as this place begins to stir. The spirits and souls are waiting for their time...many forces are at function within each of us. Now is the time to honor, acknowledge and pray. What a blessed time to be alive.....

Om Santi Santi, 

Shellie White Light

Day 8: The Authentic Moment

Slept in late today. Internet wasn’t working. Oh well! I’ll have to wait to post the blog.  Grabbed some java and made it in time to Jocelyn’s workshop to watch her demonstrate an exercise called “Waiting for the Authentic Moment”. 

Ah....perfect timing. I needed to witness this, in the moment of my frantic and ‘not going as planned’ morning. As I watched, Jocelyn inhaled, stood gracefully in her hoop, waited until the inspiration arose, and then danced in flow complete with punctuation to a song that will always remind me of her since I saw her perform to it at Hoop Camp years ago. The lyrics say “Taking my time, taking my time, taking control of the elements.” Her dance, and the dance to which she invited the students of this Hoop Yogini Alchemy and Flow session, was sweet and authentic. Sensual and in tune with the elements of the space, body and collective flow. “The Authentic Moment” arises when it arises. I woke up this morning when my body authentically needed to, not when I felt like I needed to be up to write at 5:30AM. My blog will be posted in the most authentic moment possible, when the internet authentically works, haha. This is really what going with the Flow is all about. Today is the last full day of Week One Sacred Circularities Hoop Dance Meditation Retreat. Today will reveal the most authentic moments of the week as we witness instructors Babz, Tiana and Caterina go ‘In Depth’. These ‘In Depth’ sessions are a showcase of the inner workings, deeper practices, personal stories and backgrounds of these beautiful women who have inspired us so deeply throughout the week. I am looking forward to peaking beneath the surface of the lovely hoop legends lives, and enjoying the last full day of this amazing week. 

Babz Robinson was the first In Depth experience. From the Great White North of Canada, she is a well traveled hooper, and a rock climber. She loves home! Something I admire about Babz that I can resonate with deeply is that she does not watch YouTube videos to learn or gawk. Neither do I! She says she doesn’t want it to affect her style. I totally get that. I really appreciated Babz sharing herself with us in a sweet and open way. Thanks for leaving home to come play with us in Bali, Babz!

Tiana Zoumer was next, gracing us with her innocent, heart felt tears and a tale that told all a story we could all relate to. Many of us had experienced something Tiana endured in the beginning of her journey, a lack of self love. It’s hard to imagine our hoop idols being anything but happy and hooping all the day long, but the reality of life is this: we create to help heal our pain. Tiana stated “we dance to heal”. It’s true. We emoted with her and were inspired by her as we listened and learned deeper about the life that created this genuine hoop legend, a prodigy of practice, a ring master for sure. Thanks for bearing your soul to us, T.

Caterina Suttin sat center stage next, and blessed us with a beautiful ball of light as she practiced for us to witness her devotion. She told us her story of riding the waves of inspiration to injury, healing to being humbled, making it and breaking it, and everything in between. She also got real about the psychological effects of being a ‘hoop celebrity’, so to speak, and the mental experience that ‘the attention’ can bring. Between Babz, Tiana and Caterina sharing with us their authentic experiences I feel like the retreat came to an intimate and transparent climax of the actualization of this years theme: Realization. As a group we realized that these teachers are just people, accessible and open, raw and vulnerable. Our friends. Our sisters. Our equals. Yes, our greatest inspirations, too! I am looking forward to taking the role of teacher in Weeks Two and Three, and these AMAZING trail-blazers have shown me such a beautiful and shining example!

After the day was done I had a very sweet private session with Shilpa who had so many epic breakthroughs in her hoop practice. It is amazing to witness someone ‘get it’ for the first time and literally jump up and down screaming in joy. It helps me remember why I am doing this in first place. I love helping women feel totally empowered in their bodies, minds, spirits and TALENTS. We are all so different and private lessons give me a wonderful opportunity to experience the different way different hoopers learn. Teaching is literally my favorite thing in the world to do for myself, and for others.

After our lesson we joined the rest of the group at Clear Cafe for a delicious ‘last supper’. There was a lovely view of the sky and the lightening was flashing intermittently in the darkness. Between the faces of my friends, and the flashing of the lightening, I literally felt  “lit up”. This has been such a profound week, and I feel grateful beyond description, really. Tomorrow is the Closing Circle, but truly this is just the beginning. This is really my life! The life that this community has created together. What a beautiful community we have all co-created. This Sacred Circle is always open, never broken. 

Love From Bali,

Shellie White Light 

Day 6: The Temple Within

This morning at breakfast the lotus was closed, quiet and resting. As the sun rose and the people began to bustle, the lotus unfolded, opened, and revealed it’s beauty. This was a foreshadowing of the day that was about to unfold. The Sacred Circularities group is going to pray and cleanse at the Tempak Siring Water Temple. Because I am on my moon cycle, I cannot go. There was a small amount of disappointment, but mostly, relief. I need some self care. Instead of a trip in a van, to practice devotion in the sun in a traditional Balinese Way, I will relax by the pool, receive a massage and go to the Temple next week instead. Today, my body is my temple. The Sacred Waters are within. My rest is my devotion. Tonight is the Tribal Market and Performance Showcase, which I am honored to be Emceeing. I will be like the lotus, quiet and folded, until it is time to shine.

I took my Beloved, Kellen, on a tour around the gardens of Ananda Cottages here in Ubud, Bali via Skype. It was so fun to show him the statues adorned with offerings and the lush jungle, the expansive rice patties and the freshly blooming pink lotus. He was so happy! Just what he needed to feel included on my journey. It’s amazing how we can be thousands of miles and entire oceans and continents apart, yet feel so connected through technology and virtual face time. I loved being able to include him in my morning routine of tea, blogging and walking around these beautiful grounds. It felt like he was right here with me, and on the esoteric level, he is. Love knows no distance, no space, no time. Love just IS. It is always there, present, ready to be expressed in any and every way possible. Love is limitless. I am so grateful to know a love like this :)

Last night walking back from the drum jam, I crossed paths with a snake. It was small, thin and black. It was quite calm, actually. I was more fascinated than startled, and took it as a sign that it was time to shed some skin, shed some layers. Heal my body. This is happening naturally, and I can also assist the process. When a snake sheds it’s skin, it also sheds the skin over its eyes, leaving it blind during the final phases of the process. I feel ready for the shedding, and recognize that we don’t always see with our physical eyes the transformation occurring, but we can feel it, and know for sure that we will be renewed and refreshed on the other side. As my womb is also shedding my most inner layer; my moon blood, I release a water with a creative capacity that could have formed physical life. The Sacred Moon Water holds great life force, and I choose to use it as fuel for this creative writing project, my personal hoop practice, and honoring my body through rest and rejuvenation. There is always much to be discovered beneath the surface of the old, and exploration of the new. I loved myself up today and nurtured my ‘old’ skin that is ready for shedding with some yummy sunshine by the pool, a cooling dip, and a super deep and well deserved massage. I love this body, and vow to treat it as a temple always!

The Performance Showcase and Tribal Market went so well! Oh my goddess, the Performers were incredible. I can’t really put into words the fullness of my heart when watching these beautiful dancers express themselves in such an authentic and unique way. I was genuinely moved by each one. Lex took the stage for the VERY FIRST TIME! And totally rocked it. Luna put so much feeling and release into a tear jerking contortion hoop number. Caterina blew our minds with her debut of a six hoop routine. Tiana gracefully delivered a sweet and savory lyrical piece. The Fire Pixies (Shouniez & Shaheen) brought the delightful element of couple’s acro play into the mix for us all to adore. Each act was just perfect. All 14 of the performers had their own flavor and style, and brought so much joy to the Ubud community. Thank you to everyone who made my job as the emcee last night so wonderful by simply shining! Thanks for your courage and sharing of talents.

After a day of amazing, relaxing beauty and witnessing others shine in their light, I headed to a well known community house for an epic party. I was invited by my friend who I met in Oz but lives here, and once I got there I realized I knew at least ten people! That’s how it goes for me frequently, actually. I meet people all over the world and then meet them again in another amazing corner of the planet! I mingled and danced and chanted mantra, had some coconut cream cake and really enjoyed myself big time. I made new friends and embraced old ones. The connections here are powerful, and the web we are weaving runs deep. Roots deep. I am honored to be connected into this amazing tribe, and trust Great Spirit is weaving some Divine Magic in a very profound way. I can feel that some of the connections I made last night will come full circle soon. A lovely evening!

The whole day was just what I needed. Rest, Water, Sun and Massage for my body temple, emceeing the show for my community temple, and then some awesome dance and music for my Spirit Temple that is not seen, but being built and beautified every day. The Temple Within me is grateful for these offerings and prayers. May you honor your own body as a Sacred Temple for Great Spirit to move through you, as you, for you, with you. Allow it, and watch the miracles manifest before your very eyes!

Until Tomorrow...Shine Sweetly!

Shellie White Light