Day 15: Nyepi

I turned off my phone before I went to sleep last night just to see how long I could actually sleep, without an alarm. I went to sleep right at midnight, after a beautiful skype session with Kellen and his kids. I was teaching them some Indonesian sayings and we were all blowing kisses back and forth. After that I slept soundly for an entire 11 hours! I arose naturally this morning around 11AM, to the sounds of little kids screaming joyously by the pool. Noise? On Nyepi? Hmmm...I could tell this was going to be an interesting day.

The sun was shining so naturally I wanted to go to the pool. Luckily, there are three pools at Ananda. I went to the one I like the most (the lovely infinity pool) but there was an entire family of Japanese tourists there being super loud, not just the kids. The adults were all talking to each other, and actually encouraging the little kids to yell and scream all they wanted. I found myself slightly offended. I went up to the Dad and said “Do you all know this is an International Day of Silence? It would be nice if you could at least lower your voices a little. I understand you have small children and that’s one thing, but could you ask the adults in your group to not speak as much and so loudly?” The woman replied with “We are trying”, as she continued to chat with another lady. Even after my request, they all got even louder. I decided to just go to another pool. The man couldn’t understand why I wanted to leave and was even shouting at me as I left. I just don’t get it. I don’t understand why people wouldn’t want to at least somewhat honor this day. I suppose I am just very into fully experiencing the cultural ways. I also suppose being a tourist myself at a hotel with a bunch of other tourists who can’t leave the property is an equally powerful part of my experience.

At the other pool there were still a whole bunch of people talking. I didn’t bother to ask anyone to shut up even though I wanted to. It was a practice to have compassion and to not judge. This is a Balinese Holiday, and these people are not Balinese and just because I think it’s awesome to observe a day in silence doesn’t mean any other Westerner does. I just wish people would be more respectful of those of us who were actually looking forward to a day of total silence. But you know, that’s what I get for having expectations. So, I turned inward and just absorbed the sunshine and swam laps for a good long while.  It’s hard to hear people talking while under water. I rested in the sun and before I knew it everyone had left the pool and I was actually alone and not in hearing range of another humans voice. That was a special moment. I slipped in and out of sleep, hearing only the sweet hum of insects and the breeze in the trees. A moment of bliss indeed.

After I realized I was getting a bit burned, I headed to the lotus pond for some meditation. I sat observing the lotuses, the seeds, and the fallen petals in the pond. This place has been such a solace for me every morning and evening the entire time I have been here at Ananda. Today I asked the pond if I could take a piece of it with me, to plant in Austin. She gave me seven seeds. They rest on my altar, and I will plant them in a handmade lotus pond when the time is right. Whether they grow or not, at least I have a little bit of Bali with me in my home soil. 

After my time with the lotuses I felt the call of the hoop. I made my way to the wantalon to get in a solid and solitary hoop practice. There were already quite a few hoopers already in there, hooping silently and with focus. This ended up being my favorite hoop jam yet! It was inspiring to see everyone working on their own stuff, not just techniques we have learned over the last couple of weeks. I felt like everyone was really riding the wave and honoring the silence. I got super sweaty and tired after a few hours of solid practice and decided to beat the mosquitoes back to my room. I took a shower and began to write. Bailey came in and said a few words that I am glad she said. She invited me to the rice patty to watch the stars and the fireflies. Of course, I said “yes”.

This was literally the highlight of my Nyepi experience. I found myself in deep gratitude and prayer as I witnessed more stars tonight than I have seen in the 15 days I have been on this island. The stars were so bright, as well as the green and yellow fireflies that blinked by the thousands. The beauty compounded upon itself as the lightening flashed in the distance. With all of this brilliant light in the night, my prayer was simple. A reflection of the present moment. “Great Spirit, let me truly be a bright light in the night. Let my soul serve as a beacon for those who wish to know you, find a clear path to you. May my light be an inspiration, a guide and a service to all who see it. Amen. Aho.” As I watched the fireflies light up the darkness, and the stars speckle the sky, with the lightening periodically pulsing, I felt at One with the forces that be. This is becoming more and more regular, these feelings of being At One With the Universe. On the same page. Speaking the same language. I have always felt relatively tapped in, but once I started hoop dancing, the shapes starting to show me a truth free of story, dogma or creed. Since then, my path has been a clear display of the magic the universe offers, each moment so special that I find myself continually in childlike wonder. Tonight was one of those moment, one of those precious moments, where I recognized that the ‘specialness’ of the day was hiding in the darkness as light. The bugs, the beauty, the brilliance all came together to help me remember who I am more clearly. The stark contrast of light in the darkness always helps to remind me. White Light. We are all White Light. I just happened to make it my name, so that I forget less frequently. 

This Nyepi New Years Day has been a blessing. There will always be sounds when it’s meant to be quiet, and always be light in the night. We live in a world of duality, and for this I am grateful. We learn through contrast, and our wisdom is greater from it. I feel like today was as beautiful as it could have been, and I feel beyond blessed to be here in Bali during this most auspicious time in history. Thank you, as always, for coming along with me on my journey. I look forward to taking you deeper, as the days to come reveal the magic that has been cultivating and culminating. 

One in the Circle,

Shellie White Light

Day 11: Self Centered

Today is the beginning of Week Two Sacred Circularities 2015. It was a pleasure and necessity for me to take some seriously playful time to myself today, to get centered for the upcoming workshops I will be sharing this week. I am teaching Sustained Spinning over the course of the next six days, and feel so grateful to be teaching in the company of Tiana Zoumer, Gail O’Brian, Tammy FireFly, Malaika Darville, Francie Fishman and Jaguar Mary X. Wow! What a powerhouse team. Today was a day for me to go inward, take some ME time, and prepare for the powerful week ahead.

I woke up this morning bright and early, got all dolled up and went out into the rising sun for a Selfie Photo Op, tutorial filming and simple admiration of a beautiful Bali Sunrise. I captured some great images of blossoming lotuses, the rice patties, and me with my hoop, all in the light of the rising sun. After a yummy breakfast with the new teachers and participants, I went to the pool for more Selfie time and some sun. A little too much sun, actually. After taking hundreds of photos (only of which a few a usable) and laying around like a little kitten I am looking like the Coppertone Baby! White Bum Red Cheeks ;) Tee hee! It was a very fun morning of creating self-portraits by the infinity pool. Afterwards I felt inspired to head to the wantilan for an in depth hoop practice. I danced and stretched and sang and hooped my heart out for what felt like hours! I am ready to begin practicing for hours and hours again everyday. I used to do that, and now with my travel schedule I have become a bit slack about it. I felt refreshed today to begin my practice anew again! It is a perfect week to recommit to my creativity. 

The Balinese people and all of us blessed to be on Bali at this time are preparing for Nypei. The locals are ceremonially cleansing their temples and creating huge demon puppets, preparing for the big Ogah-Ogah parade that scares off all of the evil spirits. Then, Nyepi is a Day of Complete Silence. No cooking, eating, talking, fires, lights, entertainment, travel or leaving the house. The airport is closed and the streets and beaches are deserted. Today as I awoke at sunrise and sat by the lotus pond for a while, I found myself looking forward to communing with these flowers and water on the Day of Silence. Today was such a lovely day self centering, and I am greatly looking forward to another day of reflection and experiencing.

The rice patties are barren now at much of Ananda. They harvested the rice, and now what was a lush green field is now a beautifully muddy terrace of lakes. A new type of beauty is there, now. Instead of green fields there are now wonderfully white birds, starkly contrasting the brown water. As the weeks come and go, and the view of the rice is ever changing, I hold on to the sweet smells in the air and the vivid colors in front of my eyes as long as I can in the moment before having to let it go. I am so grateful to be here, amongst these people, at this time, in this body, on this planet! Truly, every day I give thanks that the life I have co-created is so blessed. I must have done something right in a previous existence, as this bliss is beyond my wildest imagination.

The Opening Ceremony was tonight, and seeing the new faces was a delight! We had a very special visitor, a very kind and compassionate tabby cat graced us with it’s company and continued to hang out all night. I loved it up in the circle and carried it all around the jam later on. Putu, the Balinese Priest, was back again to perform the very sacred water and rice blessing for us for Week Two participants. It was profound to receive this amazing blessing a second time! I am honored to be able to sit in a circle and receive sacred ceremonial blessings from a traditional lineage. These types of rituals build so much power over time, and I could feel it. I feel that this place is changing me....mutating me....in a very good and gracious way!

After the ceremony with all of the flower tossing and cheering, hugging and ritual, we jammed and held space in the portal we are creating here together. I am looking forward to getting to know everyone better throughout the week, and so thankful to be in the midst of such awesome community! It is super amazing that hoop enthusiasts from ALL around the world (especially Alberta, Cananda) are inspired enough to gather together on tiny Bali. Smart folks! :)

The stars were shining as I walked back to my room. The stars were bright and the frogs and crickets were serenading my every step. In my heart a fire is kindled, warm and full of love for each woman and man here, not just at this gathering, but on this earth at this time. We are a part of something really special, and I can feel the shift culminating. This week is POWERFUL with Saturday being Nyepi, The New Moon, A Total Solar Eclipse plus Spring Equinox. Wow. That was my one word for the Opening Circle; WOW! Other participants shared their ‘one word’ for the week; words like Transmutation, Creation, Healing, Manifestation, Magic, etc. My word was simply ‘wow’, because that is exactly how I feel around all of this beauty and continual blessing. Week Two is already proving to be a climactic moment of dreams manifested, and I look forward to the string of moments that will stay in the center of my heart forever.

One in Self Love,

Shellie White Light

Day 5: Release

Tiny meltdown on the morning of Day 5. I woke up this morning with a stuffy nose and my moon cycle. I felt tired. I called my man and he was feeling sad we couldn’t talk more often while I am away, as we are apart right now for two whole months. I felt guilty that he wasn’t here with me, while also feeling like I had taken on too much between writing and healing work and all the workshops and such. Overwhelm! I cried. This did not help my stuffy nose...

I realized that today was a day of releasing. Pardon the details here, but I gotta be real.

A day of releasing; releasing feeling good in my body as my nose released snot and my womb released it’s monthly moon, releasing my beloved and our constant communication and releasing the need to feel energetic as I am still slightly jet-lagged. Release. Releasing tears and releasing fears. Even though I am a seasoned traveler, there are moments when I really wish I could just take quantum pause through space and time and just ‘go home’. Home? Another aspect of my life I have had to release. My home is my heart. No address, not yet anyway. 

Sigh. Tiana’s workshop helped tremendously as it was all focused on...guess what? RELEASES! The name of the workshop was literally called ‘Releases’, and focused on taking the hoop off the runways we had identified the day before and allowing it to take flight. We spent the first part of the morning tossing our hoops out of our hands and allowing them land gracefully, and glide down the runway with ease and grace. We also learned the “Infinity Toss” which required much trust and aim in the moment of release. Tossing the hoop from the back to the front, trusting our aim enough to be able to catch it in front, creating a circuit of this momentum was a process that helped me in my internal ‘letting go’. I also let go of the need to ‘get it’ right away. Releasing takes time, in more ways than one. I love how my hoop life always relates to my emotional experience. Thanks to Tiana for delivering your final workshop in a way that related to my soul and my hoop space. 

Babz took the trickery up a notch by helping us take it down a notch, all the way to our knees. Finding Your Inner ‘Kneenja’ was all about becoming badasses while leg hooping. I love to leg hoop! I found lots of satisfaction in helping some newer hoopers around me to achieve leg hooping for the first time. I was also very challenged by many postures Babz had us practice such as hooping with crossed knees, and also leg hooping in my opposite direction. Leg hooping takes hoop dance to a whole new level. It frees the arms and liberates the torso to dance dance dance in some really fun and unique ways. Also, one leg hoop balancing can lead to some striking poses and also some funky one legged expression. Babz always brings the dance element into the concepts of the tricks, and I really appreciate this. It is called Hoop DANCE after all! 

The day was already unfolding much better than the way it started. I felt like my releasing throughout the day had been a relatively graceful process. I was able to sneak in an extra phone call before lunch with my babe, and that really helped us both. He is being so supportive while I am away from him for 8 whole weeks! It’s not easy, but we feel we are growing stronger each day during this time. As we release being in each others presence each day, we are opening individually to receiving amazing gifts from Great Spirit. 

The last workshop of the day was Theta Healing with Jocelyn. A lovely mindfulness meditation helped me to finally free myself from my thoughts, and a sweet conversation about Grace reminded me to open to receive. I realized that the process of releasing can be graceful, or not. Thank God for Amazing Grace! How sweet, sweet SWEET the sound that saves a soul like me on a daily basis. There are so many tiny and not so tiny problems that come up for us, and the way we choose to view them and go through them can be graceful if we allow it. I chose to allow grace today, and the Theta meditation Jocelyn led us through was the perfect piece to complete it. I accepted the downloads from Spirit and let my body rest in it’s Theta Brainwave State. Thank you Jocelyn for taking us into still moment. This stillness allows for wonderful integration of all the joyful noise of this lifestyle we live.

After the workshops were all done I enjoyed an incredible dinner at Alchemy; a salad with all kinds of raw noodles and dressings and kimchee and spicy cashews, with raw onion bread and cashew cheese. YUM! The owner of the place thought we were a bunch of beautiful women and for that reason alone brought us a delicious plate of tapas. Wow, what a treat! Amazing food with amazing women. I love the food here, and of course all of the people too. Deliciousness on every level.

Last but not least of the day was the Drum Circle Jam with Malaika and friends. I love dancing to drum music more than anything. Dancing was the icing on the cake. Full release. Tribal rhythms and foot stomping was all I needed. Watching my sisters spin and flip and drop and glide brought so much joy to my heart. This day ended up being one of the most beautiful yet, and started off with such emotional intensity. There is a lotus in full bloom by the restaurant. At night it closes, in the morning it opens. As times are dark, our hearts close like the petals of the lotus, and as the light shines upon us, the petals open, they release, with ease and grace. Releasing is simply an opening. I am grateful for this time of opening, releasing, and really seeing. 

Shine On,

Shellie White Light 

Day 3: Balance, Breath & Breaking Open

Day 3: Balance, Breath, and Breaking Open

Morning time is special here in Bali. It brings promise. As the rooster crows and we begin to rustle and rouse, the potential for exponential growth is real. The sun was streaming in the window as I opened my eyes. The light reminds me of who I am, who we are, and why we are here. We are here to remember. We are here to dance. We are here to realize ourselves and each other. Today is the first day of instruction. We begin.

After a super yummy breakfast and orientation, the Instructors for the week took the mic to speak on their curriculum and demonstrate the teachings. The healers (including myself) also took a moment to give insight to each ones unique offering, delivered with love to help attendees who choose to receive sessions a chance to expand greater and integrate deeper. Once we covered all the bases of hoop etiquette (don’t leave your hoops on the floor or steal another hoopers hoop) we were ready to receive our first teaching of Week One of Sacred Circularities Bali 2015. Yay!

Tiana Zoumer was the first to teach and presented an amazing workshop on Balance.  Through poetic metaphor and somatic wisdom she took us on an inner journey of core stability and micro-movement, as we practiced balancing the hoop on our palms, finger tips and faces. Yes, faces. It is amazing to see just how well practiced Tiana is at balancing the hoop on her forehead. It’s a wonderful meditation, and truly a practice that will take a lifetime to master. Balancing the hoop is like balancing life. It takes practice, dedication, learned skill and repetition. Micro-movements. Core stability. Making adjustments that become more and more refined. Thank you, Tiana for taking us deep into the worlds of inner and outer balance.

Next up was Babz’s workshop on combos. I learned so much with just the first move! It was really fun to play and watch everyone get inspired to put their own flare on the given combo. It was also very inspiring to witness the way that everyone helps each other out. This is not a competition sport. Hoop dance is all about sharing and sweetly encouraging each other. I love seeing my sisters in this way! I wish all of the women of the world could see it just even for one day. Babz filled our hearts with inspired movement and helped us push the boundaries of movement and motion. By the end, we were all excited to put our spin on this new and fun series of movement, and thankful to Babz for delivering such a fun challenge.

The final workshop of the day was a beautiful delivery of Caterina’s Breathing Breaks. I have taken this workshop in a more original form in Sedona. I loved it then and today, wow, next level! We worked on the technical elements of breaks and paddles (hoop vernacular, there will be much hoop speak in these blogs, comment if you do not know what something means and would like to!) And also worked deeply on the breathing techniques that Caterina has been using to meditate with these movements, also helping to strengthen her practice. This workshop became so much more as Caterina took us further into the practice of gratitude, and had us use our focus to create intention and also to share this cultivated love with special people who need it in our lives. It was very touching to hear each participant speak into the circle the loved ones they wished to dedicate this practice to. A bittersweet moment, and a highlight of my day. We completed our breathing and breaking practice and you could feel the energy in the room. Everyone was feeling their hearts open and blessings received. If it couldn’t get any more amazing, there was an epic thunder and rain storm that poured down during all of this, and a few brave hoopers took their hoops into the rain to feel mama Bali blessings of water from the sky. Thanks to Caterina for giving us a beautiful practice that incorporates the most important element of any meditative movement....gratitude!

As I type this there is yet another epic experience happening in the Wantilan. Malaika is leading her infamous 5 Elements Ecstatic Dance Activation! What a wonderful way to integrate the epic string of awesome moments that created today! The 5 Elements Dance is always life changing for many participants. The work is deep and profound when you combine movement, breath and beat. 

 I am currently having to practice something we have deemed ‘JOMO’: Joy Of Missing Out. As a certified 5 Elements Dance Facilitator and student of Malaika’s, I so want to be dancing my face off right now! But my writing called, and my body is still feeling the effects of a 36 hour travel stint. Lucky for me, there is another one on the first day of instruction next week. I will certainly be rested by then and be extra ready for the juicy goodness that Malaika always brings. I love this dance and I love that woman! Thank you Malaika for always giving us the best of yourself, the essence of the elements, and the adventure of the journey inward. 

Other highlights of my day include walking through misty rice patties after a fresh rain, the tears in a sisters eyes that I know came from the depths of her soul, swimming in the pool and sunning with some of my best friends in this family, and writing this blog so that you can live these moments with me. Until tomorrow, shine on! 

Day 2: Sacred Circularities Begins

Today is the day! The reason I am able to be here. Sacred Circularities Hoop Dance & Meditation Retreat begins tonight. I love this family so much. I am feeling grateful, blessed, blissed and surrounded by beauty! To be able to travel the world to do my ‘job’; to help others heal themselves and create a life that serves them higher, is literally my dreams come to life. I want to tell everyone reading this that your dreams, if you dare to really dream them, can truly come to be the reality that you wake up to each day. 

For real. I’m not just talking some foo foo new age nonsense on law of attraction or visualization, I’m being real with you when I say to you if you want something enough and take the action steps in the direction calling you, it will come to you. The timing is the Universes call, but the dream is yours. Live your dreams AWAKE. 

Bali is an amazing waking dream. At night when I walk along the path I smell jasmine flowers in bloom. I feel the earth alive and vibrant, lush and vivid, celebrating her existence with brilliant bursts of color. It has been surreal waking up to this reality. I breathe deep into the floral scented air all around me and just continue to give thanks!

As dinner began and everyone started to arrive in the dining hall, I could feel the energy building for the week. We all ate a delicious meal as we chatted with excitement, introducing ourselves to new friends and tightly embracing familiar ones. After dinner we gathered in the Wantilan for the Opening Ceremony. 

When I walked in, I noticed a native man sitting in front of the alter, deep in prayerful meditation. I knew Jaguar Mary had planned something special.

As the 40 of us sat around a circle of a perfectly placed flower mandala, the stage was set. The man was the master of traditional ceremony for our Opening Circle and gave each of us the most beautiful water blessing. We cleansed our crowns, drank of the sacred water he placed in our hands, and sat humbled as he placed the mana of this land, rice, onto our third eye centers. What a sweet site to see all of my sisters (and a couple of brothers) gazing at each other anointed with the staple seeds of this rich land right between the eyes. This moment coincided with us taking our special objects up to the alter as offerings. The offerings of this culture are amazing, actually. Everywhere I go I see leaves fashioned into little baskets with flowers, petals, rice and incense. There are altars everywhere, as well as deities, statues, chairs and all kinds of little spaces hidden away to place offerings. So, to make our own unique offering to the altar felt complete. After the water blessing we all stated our names and where we hail from and received a blessing of a flower shower! I love having fresh flower petals falling all around me, as I am honored by the community I love. What a Gift! 

We gathered close and stomped in celebration of this time together, the people and ways of this land, the spirits, the sisterhood, the surrender and the profound purpose of our theme for this year: Realization.

As we lovingly smashed the perfect petals underneath our dancing feet, and I felt the nectar of these flowers cool and damp beneath my soles, my ethereal soul was deeply nurtured. Looking into the eyes of my flow family, seeing how far we’ve all come and knowing how far we are about to go, is an inspiring image that will stay with me all of my days.

This is the stuff people often envy. Some will never dare to dream these dreams. For some, it will stay a fantasy in a far away land. But tonight, for us, for the family who made here to Sacred Circularities Week One 2015 in BALI, we know for ourselves that this paradise can be real life. It’s not like we don’t have problems and heartache still, because we do. All that stuff still exists, but we still made the choice to dream big and then show up to receive it. Tonight at Opening Ceremony, I saw the spark in everyones eyes. We are here for a reason. We are here to become more of ourselves. We are here to change the world! Thank you for bearing witness. Stay tuned to see how this ever flowing adventure unfolds....

Keep Shining,

Shellie White Light